Song of the Day: Both Sides Now

This comes to mind after wandering in Barnes and Noble for two hours, sitting in the coffee bar drinking Peppermint Mocha and reading love poems. The old year is wheezing to an end full of things that gone good-bye and also full of things that have said hello. Maybe Tim Buckley is more appropriate?

The Late Bird Report: The Prestige

Ticket Line: very short
Audience: 30-40 somethings and a few late 20 somethings
Capacity: 95%
Balcony: closed
Organ Recital: An unrelated raft of tunes from "She's a Grand Old Flag" to "Dream the Impossible Dream."
Report: I have arrived at the far scale of opposites a lot sooner than I planned. At the beginning of the movie I was happy to discover a group of performers I truly enjoy watching: Hugh Jackman, Michael Caine, Andy Serkis, and Scarlett Johansson. It was nice seeing David Bowie but he didn't look like David Bowie. He looked like another actor who's name I can't recall. So that was odd and sort of topical for the show. I've heard that playing doubles is the most challenging act. Well, there were two doubles in the show not to mention the 100 extras generated by the Tesla machine. This is a highly disturbing film. I was near catatonic at the end, barely able to walk out the front door. Just when I think a person can stoop no lower I am stunned into belief at just how low they can go. Official Site Well worth seeing (the movie and the site) with tons of excellent acting, very convincing period costumes and scenery, and only mildly disorienting flash back and forths.
Analogy: freak show
Will I buy the DVD? No. But this is definitely one that you can watch more than once.
Will I watch it again if it bites me? Yes.

Visit and support The Byrd Theatre. No commercials. No previews.

breaking out with movies

Wow. I'm ready to order up that radical hair cut. All because of a movie.

I went to what to rent and decided to put a little excitement into my head. The first selections they offered me were too tame (and I had seen one of them) so I went back to the mood meter, reselected "a lot different from my normal taste" and then slid the bar farther away from "... won't impact you deeply" and about one third of the way to "... the movie may be incredibly depressing." What I got was The Rock. I agreed to watch it and was it ever exciting. This reminds me of the time I learned how to ride coasters. I started with the Scooby Doo coaster and graduated (slowly) to the most scary ride in the park, in front with my hands up. I'm thinking if I keep this up I'll be able to watch movies that are "totally opposite of my normal taste" and "challenging film festival ... incredibly depressing."

Wait. Does this mean that the point is to do that? Am I the only one who sees it as a challenge to select the far end of the scale? To boldly go into the land of opposites?

Interesting is that this movie is the type my last ex loved to watch. So, perhaps it might be a good pre-marital test to select movies based on the what-to-rent algorithm. Find out something about your intended and yourself. You may think renting a movie is not a good indicator, but wait until you've been together 14 years and it's winter and you're broke and you've got nothing to do. It's a little different then isn't it?

What to rent claims they know what they're doing with the LaBarrie theory. But I think they're only finding out what sorts of moods and personalities they can accurately prescribe for. Of the 11 movies they've recommended for me so far, I've watched three. I liked two and hated one. Not bad for the three I've watched so far and they claim they get better with feedback. Yeah. Time will tell.

Whoa! Next thing you know I'm reading up about algorithms!

A Letter To Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,

It has been brought to my attention by one of our operatives that you have secured for yourself, and your interests, a very lucrative position in the toy and game industry. Normally, my associates and I would not involve ourselves in child-exploitation schemes such as yours. However, it is quite clear to us that you have over-stepped your bounds and are coming into my family’s territories. That I cannot let you do.

Mr. Claus, we’ve known each other for many years, and we have no problem with your operations in the North Pole. But, uh, Consuela tells me that you have expanded your deliveries to the entire south side, most of the north side, and everywhere but the Jewish neighborhoods.

I understand, Mr. Kringle, that you and I share many interests. We both make lists. We both know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Have I mentioned, that, uh, red is also my favorite color? This year when you make your rounds, I hope you’ll take time stop by the house for a cup of coffee and some cookies, so that, uh, we can discuss an offer I know you can’t refuse. I know how much you like cookies. I am sure you will do this thing I ask out of respect, but I would be remiss if I did not remind you of the tragic demise of our mutual friend and confidant, Frosty T. Snowman. I regret that it was necessary to teach Frosty a lesson.

Sincerely, and with warmest wishes for you and the lovely Mrs. Claus,

Don

P.S. It would be most unfortunate for you to wake up one morning to find the heads of eight tiny reindeers in bed with you. I am sure you are a reasonable man, and that this will not be necessary.

where are you?

i walk along the cool city streets admiring cheap holiday lights
i smile and trip along
a beer has left hops in my mouth and laid my mind out to dry in the fresh air
where are you?

the sky is dark and full of stars
the evening is a chiaroscuro of stone benches under half-lit trees
skimpy white plastic bags at rest on the curb
floodlit blowup santas
where are you?

the man next door keeps his motorcycle in his living room
i see it dimly lit underneath an ornately carved wooden mirror
the woman next door never turns her lights on
she sits in the glow of the television sleeping or contemplating retirement
her mums nothing but brown carcasses
i hear the music of the train horns
and the whooshing of motorized vehicles
like a video just for me

where are you?

on the air down the pipes

This is why I am the alien drifter. I was forced to download Firefox so that I could get video suggestions from "What to Rent." The first movie they recommended didn't work for me although from the outset it seemed like it would. They ask weird questions which they claim is a better way to find out my mood. Mood apparently is the basis for movie choices. They also claim that people watch movies as if they were watching real people. Are we going back to Aristotle? I'm really not interested in all my entertainment being a catharsis. Sometimes I just like to have fun.

Anyway, I've discovered Firefox. It works great. It fakes Internet Exploder better than Safari and it does things that my old G4 can only dream about. Basically it takes the best of IE and Safari and combines them in a very good way. I'm wondering why Firefox can do this on my old G4 with OS 10.3 when Safari needs a new Mac and updated version of Safari. I also wonder why iTunes is keeping up with new developments that let my G4 pretend it's a new iMac. Not that I'm complaining. Okay. I guess all development can't be equal. I'm a mom. I understand you can't treat all your children equally.

Speaking of fun (and the reason for the title of this entry) you can now have more of what I'm looking for, TV on demand, through Firefox. My limited system is very good at letting the commercials through. (Commercials always work. Has anyone noticed that?) Firefox lets it all through. Some smart people are making Firefox. Thank you! I love TV on demand. There's nothing more annoying than to sit down in front of the tube and discover the tail end of a good show.

Downloading Firefox was fast, easy and nearly effortless. I had to drag and drop it into my Applications folder. After launching, it found all my Safari personlizations and brought them all over correctly. There were a few preferences I had to tweak (like to open with a blank window instead of my home page) and that was it. Firefox does a great job with Verizon. So take that and stuff it in your electrons, Verizon! You do support Mac!

Current Fads
Listening. Bob Rivers and Twisted Radio, I Am Santa Claus; the hum of electronics
Watching. Galaxy Quest (1999)
Activity. editing my latest novel
Gadget. none
News Source. the news feeds in Firefox
Reading. D is for Deadbeat - Sue Grafton; TheWisdom of No Escape - Pema Chodron; Fortune; assorted Mensa group newsletters.

clothing or entertainment?

Looking for truly original gifts? Need a diversion? Try this. I love the peel on bra, the XXX-rated thongs and the death metal hoodies. Oh, and the tattoo sleeves. Definitely must haves. And to the "My other ride has t**s" shirt I say "My other ride has a d**k." gawd. It's just too early in the morning to be sensible.

i have faith

that it will all work out for the best. Machiavelli be damned.

Song of the Night: Song for a Winter's Night

Lyrics

bilateral skewed

unready unborn
older and more experienced than time
I see the path by riding the wind
blind
eyes wide open
deaf
a song in my heart
why are we not already there?

On the Edge of the Holidays

Richmond is just a great place to live. I've decided yet again. I started out the evening at Stony Point Fashion Park drinking a $4 cup of Starbucks Peppermint Mocha while watching the children ice skate on the temporary rink. It's not really ice. It's some kind of board painted white that they spray with something. Looks good though. And the kids loved it.

I wandered past and into the shops, most having their doors open. I observed who went into which shops. Men loved the gadget shops, the kitchen shop and the outdoor shops. I listened to them trying to decide what to buy and watched them try out gadgets. The Build-A-Bear shop was really busy, full of children and parents. The bath shops and Victoria's Secret attracted women.

At seven o'clock the magic snow appeared. Quite a crowd gathered. If you go, find a place five minutes before the start and stand under Foot Locker. They have the best snow. Snow glistened on my coat making me smile. As did the families with small children, and there were many. Not to mention a few grandparents. All of the restaurants were full so I decided to return to my neighborhood and visit a favorite Mexican place, Cielto Lindo. I was glad the snow was only magical.

Cielto Lindo has excellent service and surprisingly good food, considering how small it is. The personal service is what makes it special. I tried the sangria, which was very tasty.

Then back home to put together the first fire of the season. Thanks to Isabel I still have tons of wood. As a final touch, iTunes shuffled my varied collection of holiday songs. Lovely.

Does this sound like an ideal evening to you? Let me know. Maybe we can do something like this together.

Song of the Evening:
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

single for the holidays

Who says it's bad? When you're single the holiday's just need a little extra planning. Single people don't need the "relax, organize, say no" sort of advice non-singles need. Which is why match.com's happen article is excellent (link above).

I've been meaning for some time to write a tiny treatise on Free Entertainment for Singletons, but I've only got as far as eating alone. Yes. Eating alone. Take along a book or grab a copy of the free newspaper in the cafe. Then sit down next to a table where a conversation is already in progress. Be sure to occasionally flip the pages of whatever you're reading and don't laugh at the jokes you overhear!

Best Entertainment (in decreasing order):

1. Four or more 30-something women (pick up dating tips, who's doing who, etc.)
2. Three or more 25-35 year-old-men (lawyers talk their heads off!)
3. Groups of mixed ages containing both sexes (hear great office gossip and best restaurant reviews)

Worst Entertainment Potential

1. Two businessmen without jackets (serious stuff happening there - they will eye you with great suspicion)
2. Two middle-aged women (ditto)
3. A couple sitting across from each other and leaning forward as they eat (argghh! If only! no amount of page turning will convince them you're not listening)

So, there you have it. Go out. Get free entertainment! And start asking about New Year's Eve parties now!

like me but different

Well, it's that time again. Time to update the Yahoo! Avatar. It's like playing dollies. But in an adult way.

Why am I playing dollies? Because I went into my online account to find out why Verizon can't restore my phone line until Tuesday. Yes, that's right. My phone line is on the ground and they can't put it back for 6, count them, 6 days. Why? Because they can. I didn't think that was soon enough because I get about 200 emails a day and I use the phone line (aka high speed Internet access) to get it. So that would be about 1200 emails waiting for me on Tuesday. Not acceptable. I told the real person at Verizon this and she didn't seem to think it was important. After I told her I saw the line from the pole to my house down on the ground and neatly coiled next to the pole, she wanted to know if I had a dial tone! Where do they find these people?

Last night (before I knew the line was down) I called and reported it as a high speed access problem. Today, when checking up on the status, I was told I could call back and talk to someone directly by dialing 80456767891112. I asked if the last four digits were menu options. The guy at Verizon Online said "What?" I said there are too many numbers. He repeated the phone number. I said there are too many numbers. He said, "How many numbers would you like?" I then informed him that phone numbers were usually seven numbers, not eleven. He was unfazed. I guess it was my mistake. uh huh

By the way, I'm not at work.
Current Fads
Listening. my iMix I want to know (unpublished); wind
Watching. Out of Sight (1998)
Activity. fuming
Gadget. Palm Wireless Keyboard
News Source. the news feeds in Safari
Reading. Hogfather - Terry Pratchett; The Wisdom of No Escape - Pema Chodron; iChing; Motherpeace: A Way to the Goddess Through Myth, Art, and Tarot - Vicki Noble; GD USA; Fortune (Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a reading addict. What can I say?)

neither here nor there

Elaine's Political Profile

• Overall: 55% Conservative, 45% Liberal


• Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal


• Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal


• Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal


• Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal


• Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?