Full Bloom: Too Many Hazards

Full of blooming screens!

I once introduced a friend to Mille Bornes by stating the objectives as 1) get as many miles as you can, and 2) stop your opponents from traveling. He got it really good. In four moves all of us were stopped. Including my friend who had (of course) raised the vengeance of us all.

Full Bloom is a Facebook game that reminds me of that friend. Obviously someone told them that the game is merely a draw, so they throw up as many screens as possible before you get to the actual playing board: invite friends, play a special pre-game, get a gift, give gifts, find a special butterfly, and a news screen. If that isn't enough, when you get to your "garden" there's a big yellow arrow pointing to the news button. Then, you can click on the game button to go to the playing board.

Full Bloom also sucks up CPU usage. I know because I've played it on a Windows laptop and had warnings. It's a simple little match-three game with no need for tons of CPU. So, what's it doing with the CPU? Is it just lazy programing? Or perhaps malicious surreptitious tracking? Could it possibly be checking my hard drive?

The game itself is nicely made: pretty, logical, levels up in small increments, adds interesting hazards. Too bad it's all larded up with crap that makes it frustrating to begin playing. Also, the add-ons are outrageously expensive. It's about $1.00 to add on 5 moves in the middle of a game (if you run out of moves or time). Other options are equally expensive. Really silly when you consider that you could buy a "real" game with endless playing time and unlimited moves for $10.

I like the game. In spite of the detractors I play it a lot. I've never paid to play and I never will. It's not worth it.

One of three pre-screens to click through before you
get to play the game.

You arrive here after the preliminary screens.
After this you can go to the playing board.

After the garden, on the way to the playing
board - a little detour.

The Elaine Report: Feb 7 2013

Nothing to report because I watched this video 
and all the headlines seemed terribly ridiculous and petty afterwards.

However, I do recommend this post if you have an interest in letting a living award-winning author know your opinion on the reselling and lending of ebooks and audiobooks.

competition denigration trend - bad idea

Recently I had the waste pipes under my house redone. In the process the plumber discovered a leak from the tub, either the overflow valve or the drain. Naturally part of the deal was to fix that leak. I was at work in the studio when one of the two men came to me said they were going to lunch and to get parts.

I went into the bathroom to see what had been done so far. They had removed my valve overflow and drain hardware and replaced it with cheap silvery chrome stock parts. I admit I lost it for a minute burning with white hot anger that 1) they would replace my fixtures without telling me, and 2) that they would replace them with their choice of fixtures. Two phone calls and 20 minutes later, both plumbers stood before me holding a cardboard box with my original fixtures in it. There was nothing wrong with the fixtures. They had thought the leak came from faulty fixtures. I insisted they reinstall my fixtures. They were only five years old and worked just fine.

"You want these off-color fixtures?" the one plumber asked. (Probably the more stupid of the pair.)

I'm sure he saw me turning a hot bright red as I said, "I don't care what you call them. I want them back!"

Today I made two phone calls about my domain server and domain registration service transfers. I'm really tempted to tell you who I'm transferring from, as they have been pretty stupid. Anyway, while trying to ascertain when and where and by whom and how the transfers would be accomplished, my current provider tried a lot of snide comments such as, "They're a reseller" (referring to my chosen provider) and "I don't know how long it will take them but the industry standard is 24 hours."

I see it as desperation when a company or service provider can't get you to stay with them, or do what they want you to do (which usually involves spending more money and/or time with them), and starts bad mouthing the competition. Nothing slams the door more on a good Bye! to cancelled service than when they start getting ugly. Let's face it, by the time a customer gets to the point of canceling their decision is already made. You can buy me a trip around the world, send dancing scantily clad men to my home, offer me free service for a year, and I won't care. I've made up my mind. Competition denigration is like locking the barn door after the horses have left. Totally useless. So, stop it.

At least be gracious about it when you lose a customer and realize you lost them a long time ago and just didn't know it. And if you denigrate the competition because everyone else does, you'd better rethink your strategy. You have no chance of getting back a customer you've estranged.
Current Fads
Listening. Genius iMixes and Eagles - Their Greatest Hits; chirping birds
Watching. 9 (2009)
Activity. finding my muse
Gadget. resuscitated Palm Zire 31
News Source. Google News
Reading. Story - Robert McKee; Owls Well That Ends Well - Donna Andrews; Care of the Soul - Thomas Moore; The Four Hour Work Week: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (expanded and updated) - Timothy Ferriss
Writing. novel #4

Facebook killed the blog!

Yes, it did. Now I only post semi-serious items for public consumption. If I want a personal opinion or to share things that are close to my heart, I post them on my Facebook page. Well, so maybe killing is a harsh word. It has definitely sucked a lot of life out of this blog. Maybe it will come back to life when I find more public topics to inflict you with or maybe I'll stop being so lazy and coming up with lame excuses like this one. Oh, wait! It's not an excuse!

In the meantime...

buy unique gifts at Zazzle

pound cake and hot water

Fifteen dollars for a slice of pound cake and a cup of hot water. Would you do that? Me either but I did. I actually thought I would be getting a real breakfast. I suppose the old guard think fifteen dollars quite generous for the privilege of sitting at their elbows. Yes, I was surrounded by mostly old guys in suits. All I could think was, "Fifteen dollars for this?" Before that, I had to get out of bed early and be in town by the barely respectable time of 7:30 a.m. Why did I do that? For an inside chat with MWV and a bit of a discussion on their rebranding at the 1708 Gallery. Because it was sponsored by C3 and I expected something a bit edgy. Nope. Standard PowerPoint exhibiting all mistakes of your basic slide show (too many words, rehash of the speakers content, few images). That's the last time I pay for the honor of sitting in a recreational board room listening to someone spew corporate speak and talk about reaching the little people on the front lines.

As I sat there I wondered where all the vital young people were, the ones who are shaking it up, the ones making things happen. Making things happen elsewhere, obviously. This was old news no one wanted to hear. Most of those present had been involved in the rebranding or were business associates of those involved. What was the point?

I did learn two things. One, the "tried and true" method of rebranding has been inextricably married to organizational development. Two, the market has changed on a global scale and you'd better get on the bus. MWV has just managed to catch that bus.

James River Writers Convention blurb

I felt like "the woman who walked out on David Baldacci" as I left the auditorium. David was, indeed, in the podium answering maybe the sixth question following his presentation. Well, if everyone wants to do a marathon Q&A with David, okay, go ahead, but I have to get up every so often and move around. I was sitting in maybe the fourth row and the room was packed. I was at the third Plenary Session (whatever that is – I think it means for the entire group) of the James River Writers Convention.

David is a good speaker. Very entertaining. Gives good answers, too. My favorite: to the question "Where do you get your ideas?"

"People act as if I have about 12 ideas and that when I'm done writing about them it will be over." He went on to say that he is passionate about curiosity and is an information junkie, collecting from everywhere he can. "As long as I have a passion for curiosity, I'll have ideas." Which I loved because I'm curious and love collecting information. Nice to know my penchant for web surfing is an asset.

Passion, vision and themes were words I heard a lot throughout the day. They were good for fiction, non-fiction, talking to agents, publishing, discovering your novel's genre and screenwriting.

The critique of first pages (which followed David's talk), during which the first page and a half of a novel were read anonymously, focused on those old journalism W's: who, what, where, when, how. If you can't stuff that into the first page and a half you will lose (apparently) four out of four editors and agents. Still, it was instructive to see how an agent's or editor's personal preference and speciality influenced wether or not they decided to pursue publishing a novel.

I didn't hear any analysis about the current and long-lasting fad for lean writing or hollywood influenced action/adventure stylistics. The novel has got to rock in the first few paragraphs or it's over. Apparently no reader is willing to hang out for awhile and take the time to become slowly immersed in a novel. Ah, the 1800's!

I'm going back tomorrow for another full day. I'm looking forward to it even if it means that today doesn't feel like Friday and I might be even more tired tomorrow than I am today. I learned a lot. I'm looking forward to the last minute addition "Connecting Fiction and Non-Fiction." Seems to be a trend.

The Vig and I

Mr. Mortensen (Viggo, VM, The Vig - The Vig? I ask you!) is doing much better than I expected. Good for him. Apparently VM has taken over the Toronto Film Festival with the release of three films.

My best hope at the moment is his performance in The Road. I'm really looking forward to seeing the film. The stills look so gritty and intense. They bring back that Ranger character (The Lord of the Rings) I love so much. If, as rumor has it, he may be up for another Oscar nomination, I hope it's for The Road and I hope he gets the nod and the prize. As a western dude he looks wooden. Of course I haven't seen Appaloosa yet, but from the previews he looks a bit of a board. What do I know? I've only watched a million movies in my life.

He's a damn good looking guy and does a great impersonation of a 100-year-old ranger and an ex-con (A History of Violence). I haven't liked him too much in his other movies, except the one with Kirk Douglas (A Perfect Murder). I liked the stills of him as a romantic Spanish swashbuckler.

My opinion is definitely skewed by his performance in The Lord of the Rings trilogy (which was my first exposure to VM) where he did a great job in a part that was made for him. And if it wasn't made for him, he sure made it look that way. VM may prefer directors that give him his head, but Peter Jackson's direction developed a his acting in a way that has no comparison to other roles VM has played.

The fashionable VM! He gets nothing but accolades these days. He has worked hard and long to get them. However, I persist in my view that his acting is over rated. He is a talented artist, able to express himself in music, poetry and art and various combinations thereof. I do wish him well. I just think he could do so much better if he were to settle down and focus on something. My plan would be the life of an itinerant poet, like Homer, only wilder and more diverse. Or maybe acting roles as complex esoteric characters which could bring out his natural depth.

Ah, well. It's not my life is it?

Mergering at the high end

Not that I'm at the extreme high end. I am close, working as I do in the Communications Department of HRH. Yesterday my analogy was an ant hive disturbed by a stick. Little ants scurrying around – some aimlessly, some with purpose. Lots of scurrying. Particularly since this little deal was kept dark and happened quickly. By late afternoon everything had settled down because a) they remembered they had jobs to do, and b) Joe from Willis was going to talk to them. I was not at that meeting. The hive was a tomb. I don't know what Joe told them but whatever it was I'm sure it made them very happy.

With a bit of sadness, I noted those who were left out and those who were shoved aside so that others could stand close to the new queen. I also noted how every merger is about somebody at the top getting a raise. Or a really fine parachute with a golden handshake. While the rest of us workers go on doing our duty to keep the hive thriving.

In between all the activity I gave crash courses on mergering for workers. Having survived the SunTrust RIF and other reorganizations, I felt I had some comfort and sanity to offer. Yep. That's me. The Florence Nightingale of corporate triage. For the moment.

Well, it's back into the hive. What will I see today?

By the way, if you go to Willis take a PC. They do not support Intel-based late model iMacs with Flash 9 (even though that exceeds their published minimum requirements – it's what I've come to expect from lazy PC guys ... "oh, we won't bother with really making the site compatible, we'll post this technical message instead, who the heck is on a Mac anyway? Well, except for that one guy in Cupertino.").