alien drifter

I just got home from a blind date set up by Richmond.com. Supposed to be the Biggest Blind Date in the World. The best thing about it was the free music by Rockfish Willie. There are a surprising number of good bands playing for free in this town. The rest of the event sucked major. Parking was $3, which no one mentioned in all the "fun" communications. The restrooms were borderline unsanitary. I had a $6 hamburger from Bullets that was just like a burnt bullet. At first the vendor told me they had no hamburgers (an hour before the game) then she decided to check with the cook and it turned out they did have a burger! It came plain, as in absolutely nothing on it. After paying I visited the condiment stand which had sliced pickles with no way to get them onto the burger. So I chose the prepackaged relish which was made consumption proof. I had to lay my burger on it's wrapper on this unsanitary surface and squeeze mustard and relish onto it. What fun! Why didn't I think of this sooner?

My date was a guy named James who either didn't show up or was that short, fat, ugly dude with the "James" name tag stuck to his Richmond Braves shirt. He never approached me so I guess not - thank the fates. It was cold and windy. I went into the fan vendor booth but they didn't have any rain coats or jackets. So I stood around freezing. When the band quit playing I took my umbrella and headed for my seat. I ended up in the wrong section swapping ticket views with a decent looking guy. I found my seat. All 10 seats around mine were empty. Apparently not everyone thinks cold rain and steel chairs thrilling. I left after 20 minutes. My instructions were to go to a particular location (which I forgot) and report in for another match if my date didn't show up. Yeah. Right. More! Give me more rain!

So I'm out $10 and 3 hours of my precious Saturday afternoon time. Not even a good memory to show for it. Except maybe this nice cup of hot cocoa here at my side.

I had a thing for Viggo Mortensen for awhile. He is the perfect Aragorn. I have a poster hanging over my bed. After seeing Hidalgo, I realized I knew nothing about Viggo. Except that he makes good art. Very good art. I managed to get a copy of "Recent Forgeries" which I listened to while lying under the trees on a warm, sunny day. Highly recommend it. Anyway, what i noticed is that I have a thing for Aragorn. When I read LOTR for the first time, in high school, I had a thing for Frodo. Those were the days of "Frodo Lives" stickers and stamps. I need an "Aragorn Lives" sticker/stamp. So, it's Aragorn I pine for: his true heart, unfailing courage, sharp wisdom and honest speaking. Such a totally cool, modest, rough-and-tumble guy. Too bad he didn't turn up as my blind date.

Since Viggo is no longer accepting fan mail, how would I get his attention? Percival Press is also not taking submissions, thanks to Viggo's stardom. But there's always the poetry circuit. If I got into the right one I could meet him. Last I heard he's available. Let's turn that around. Suppose one day Viggo was out surfing, found my site and decided he wanted to meet me. How would he do that? Email? Doubt it. Email from Viggo Mortensen? Goes into the junk pile next to my email from Paris Hilton about how to make my pickle into a zucchini. Telephone? That might work. Would I believe it? Maybe. More than likely I'd think it was a hoax. Mail? That would work but, again, it would smack of junk mail. Suppose Viggo decided to send me mail. That would take at least a week before he got a response from me. Seems like a long time to wait when he could just pick up the phone and call me.

Okay, so let's say he calls me and I believe it. Where do we go from there? I'm sure I don't fit the hollywood life style. I actually don't care to look my best 110% of the time. Nor do I like attention. I can see it now - photos of Viggo with a 53-yr-old ex-homemaker. Yuh.

It's still raining.