I always thought you'd come by

I always thought you'd come by
that you would appear
that you would be here when i needed you
i always thought you'd snap out of it
that you would come to your senses and love me again
that it was all a sick joke
a bad dream
a lie
but the lie was that you were coming back
the lie was that you cared
the lie was that you'd come by
come see me
and be here
the lie was in your position
in your stance
in your false mooned bravado
your fakey smile and bon homie
and hale fellow well met
and yellow smelly feet
and tough guy stance
and wait
that's everything
it was all a lie
you are the lie
the lie is you

i always thought you'd come by
that one day i would look up and there you'd be
that never happened.
sometimes I found you in eyes
or my heart
sometimes i found you in totally great sex
sometimes I found you in explosions
but you never came by
you never said hello
you were never you
you were just crap
that's all crap

i always thought you'd come by
so come by
sometime
anytime
and lie to me again.