alien drifter

There is no real freedom. Of course, I could publish this and then suffer the consequences. That is not really freedom, then, is it? If real freedom existed I would have all possible options at my fingertips and be able to choose any option without suffering negative consequences. Some would argue that is freedom —being able to choose your consequences. As Shakespeare said, "Nothing is good or evil but thinking makes it so."

Do I really choose? I am a person of limited facility, undoubtedly a most excellent facility, but limited none the less. I have pre-dispositions. Hard as I try to be fair and open I am predisposed to choose certain things due to my background, training and biology. Certain options, like flying to the moon, are not open to me. Neither is buying my own country. Another option not open to me is calling up my ex-boyfriend. You may believe that is an option but it is not really. Well, okay, it's an option but an option fraught with so many negative consequences that it would be a lot like shooting myself in the foot. So, not really an option.

Let's review: calling my ex-boyfriend has a very small chance of success and a very large chance of bringing me closer to self-destruction. So, not an option. Looks like what we're really discussing is statistics, chance and betting. A decision is never a sure thing. A businessman once said, "If you are 51% sure make the decision." Well, that cuts both ways, doesn't it? I am 51% sure I'd like to call my ex-boyfriend. I am also 51% sure it would be a bad move for me at this time. When someone says, "It's better to end it." your chances of getting a good response to an objection are pretty low. Less than 51% I'd say.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling really sure, I throw percentages and statistics out the window and go with my intuition. Even my intuition tells me that calling my ex, as much as I would love to hear his voice and tell him things, is not good. Even publishing this is a bad thing.

I don't always listen. Maybe I should have mentioned that. I'm a bit stubborn. Inner directed, I like to call it. Self-directed. Inspired. All good words. ... and sometimes, just plain out of options. I reiterate (from a previous post now archived and no longer in circulation) I would not make a good companion to someone living a public life. I'm no good at it. I'm too open, too honest and definitely the wrong social and body type.

Peace.
<--- LInk to "Cry Baby (Live)" sung by Janis Joplin
CURRENT FADS
Music. what will be (my iMix)
Movie. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1993)
Activity. blogging and wondering
Gadget. Palm Zire 31
News Source. BBC News - Americas
Books. Daughter of Regals and Other Tales - Stephen R. Donaldson; Thinking Like Your Editor - Susan Rabiner & Alfred Fortunato; The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot; Sadhana - Rabindranath Tagore; A Wish Can Change Your Life - Gahl Sasson and Steve Weinstein
(Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a book addict. What can I say?)