The Best 20 Years of Your Life (A Cautionary Tale)

A few years ago as I was standing in line at the post office I had a serious epiphany. It was a rainy day. I was more than damp. I was next in line. The clerk suddenly reached behind the counter and proffered an umbrella with a big smile on his face.

"Here. Take this," he said holding it up in my direction. I beamed a smile at him (thinking it had been a long time since anyone had shown such kindness) but before I could do anything I heard a voice behind me. I turned around to see a young, beautiful woman animatedly talking to the clerk (who was about 20 years older than her and had a pot belly for heavens sake). At that moment I took an entirely new view of my past.

I had gone blissfully through my younger days thinking of myself as one of the luckier people on earth. My life went well and many things fell into place. Others were kind and caring. Life was good. I wondered sometimes about the harsh attitudes of some others I saw in the distance but decided they were just that way. I seldom worried too terribly much about anything as someone was always there to take care of things. Often just what I needed arrived at just the right moment. Clerks were kind to me. Men spoke gently with me.

I'm sure I was lucky. I'm pretty sure I have some people skills (on a face-to-face basis) that can soothe the troubled beast and bring out the best in others. I know I'm capable of avoiding some of the obstacles many blunder into and that I'm better than some at getting out of snarls.

But ...

The real reason my younger life went so well was that I was young and beautiful (or at least strikingly attractive). As I have looked back since that day, I have understood that puzzling behavior of my ex-husband when we entered a crowded room. I understand now why others suddenly turned their heads, swiveled their eyes in my direction and often smiled. I understand why it was so easy for me to find a man willing to love me. I see now that my easy ride through many situations was greased by biology and youth. I'm now able to translate those expressions I once saw on women when I entered a group for the first time. I know why many of them later softened because I was unaware of my effects and because I was nice. Oh, I knew I wasn't ugly. But I figured I looked okay, you know, just okay.

Undoubtedly some of you women are snorting and clicking on to other more significant pages. But that was me, unaware, coasting through life without a second thought. That's just the way life worked – in my favor.

My advice to those of you in this predicament is take advantage of your assets. Parlay the good will of others into opportunities to build skills you can use later when you are old(er) and less attractive. Build your brains and develop useful talents because some day you will lose your looks and need to stand on your merits alone. Gone will be the kind drivers willing to hold the bus for you, forgiving policemen will vanish and men will be a lot harder to come by. Like me, you may wonder where you luck has gone. On the plus side, women will be miraculously easier to deal with. Although I have to admit, when surrounded by women in my same age group, I sometimes still get those looks.

Of course, my life wasn't totally charmed and I have had my share of grief, but that wonderful magical carpet ride is most definitely over. You take advantage of it while you can and good luck!