Everybody's Gone for the Weekend

... and maybe longer. The depletion of humans has been going on for days now. I first noticed it two days ago when I quickly found a spot in the sun at Ellwood Thompsons to have my lunch. Now Richmond is practically a ghost town! This is great! The weather is lovely and I get all the hot spots to myself. No worry about dog crowding down at the river. Lots of space to roam in the parks. I can eat al fresco anywhere in all the best spots of any location. Few cars on the street (although the percentage of idiots seems to have mysteriously risen – guys on cell phones, old people asleep at the wheel, those who apparently live in their cars and don't feel the need to actually drive when on a road, etc.) Aside from that one little glitch it's great. I'm going to thoroughly enjoy my time alone in peace and quiet. No need to go anywhere. I have this lovely resort town all to myself in the fabulous Memorial Day Weekend weather. woo hoo! (Did I mention I'm happy to be alone here for a few days?)
Current Fads slacking
Listening. recently purchased tunes (unpublished); hedge trimmer and dogs barking (the hired help are doing a big number next door and she's not even there!)
Watching. Shrek (2001)
Activity. reading
Gadget. cell phone
News Source. Google News
Reading. The Haunted Abbot - Peter Tremayne; Real Energy - Phaedra and Isaac Bonewits; A Free Course in Making Your Own Talisman - Karl Hans Welz
Writing. not writing (except journaling and well, here)
Actually, it would be totally perfect if you were here, too.

Find Your Spot!

Here's a certainly interesting but lengthy quiz on what town in the great US of A would be ideal for you. Although they ask a lot of questions and do give you an opportunity to state a regional preference, they leave out that all important question, "Do you want to stay close to your family or the remnants thereof?" Anyway, besides that, they do a pretty good job (as good as any automated process can) in finding spots that fit the general criteria of "yours."

My number one town, Charleston WV, made me cringe. Definitely wrong! Turns out that Charleston is not a backwater and may even be on the move. However, the 26" of snow is off-putting, especially as I answered a "strongly agree" to the question "I'd like to live where the temperature is moderate all year long." Does 26" of snow and 25 degrees seem moderate to you? Move Charleston about 100 miles south and we might have something. On the other hand I don't see my family enough as it is and moving farther away can only make that worse.

However, they did come up with two spots I do like: Norfolk VA (#10) and Albuquerque NM (#9) and one spot I hate: Baltimore (#5!). I'm still going over the list and considering all the spots (well, except for Charleston and Baltimore). However, they listed Norfolk as having 7" of snow and that's just plain wrong. If they get 3/4" snow in Norfolk the town shuts down. And that hasn't happened in a long time.

So, watch out but take the quiz anyway. It's fun to think that if my life were no object I could live in any of these perfect spots. Oh, and they ask for your real information, so you might get unasked for solicitations afterward even though they say they don't send you that stuff unless you ask for it.

NOTE: The town I've lived in for 16 years is not on the list. Have I got it wrong all these years?

annoyers and annoyees

Neighbors are either annoyers or annoyees. Most of my neighbors are quiet people like me and therefore end up being annoyees. Two houses down is a couple who have broken the unwritten rule of physical annoyance by putting up a high privacy fence, filling their yard with a pool and building a huge high deck surrounding it. That way, whenever anyone is out on the deck they can look down over the fence at the rest of us. They had maybe two annoying parties last year. It wasn't really awful. They quieted down by 10:30 p.m. On the other hand, they have only invited the extroverts across the street for one swim. I know they don't have to invite the neighbors over for a swim, it's just one of those annoying things.

Today I had my annual unfriendly exchange with the little man next door. As usual, it involved him sharing his limited vocabulary at the top of his voice about my dog and what I can do with it. I listened to him rant for a few minutes.

Then, during a break in his ranting, I replied, "Are you suggesting inappropriate congress with my dog?"

And he said, "Yes, I am!"

Which surprised me because I didn't think his vocabulary extended to two syllable words. Then I listened to a further demonstration of his limited vocabulary while waiting for him to wind down.

"That fuckin' dog is the only fuckin' boyfriend you'll ever get," he threw at me while the dog barked madly.

"He's a damn sight better than you!" I retorted loudly, which shut him up. Once again, Elaine wins!

We didn't have our little conversation last year because the previous year he played his trump card by complaining about my dog to the mayor through a friend of a friend. That trickled down to my local animal control agent who agreed with me that the little man has some serious problems. (And lucky me, I get to be his neighbor.)

Subsequent to his fruitless appeal to the mayor, I won the last little shouting match, too. He had, as usual, entertained me with his limited vocabulary for about 10 minutes. As he was winding down, he shouted, "What about my right of quiet enjoyment?" To which I replied, "What about mine?" which shut him up instantly.

Maybe he'll learn one day that no matter how much he doesn't like me and my dog he just can't win that cockeyed little game. One mustn't like one's neighbors but one must learn be unannoying.